Every voter in Miami's District 2 can now get free stuff from Teresa's Sarnoff's well-funded campaign for city commissioner.
A young Teresa fan came to my door last week despite my roadside signs pushing her rival, Grace Solares.
He seemed harmless enough, a college student with a dozen dog leashes draped around his neck. One hand held "Teresa, Savior of Our Community" postcards and the other, "Vote Teresa!" shopping bags (with lots of Teresa stuff inside). Seeing my dog he started with, "Could you use a new dog leash?" It had something silly on it like "Let Teresa Lead the Way".
I told him, "Thanks", I had too many leashes already. I went on to say what I really wanted was a decent person to replace Teresa's husband, Commissioner Marc Sarnoff. The street walker told me he was supporting Teresa because Marc and his dad were friends and that Sarnoff had done many good things for Miami. When I asked him to name one he pointed out that Mr. Sarnoff was replacing Scotty's Landing with a glitzy, new steakhouse.
I told him, "That's a bad thing. Coconut Grove loves Scotty's".
When he told me Scotty's bathrooms were dirty I replied, "So what? We go there for the cold beer, to see our friends and the best bay view in Miami. The Sarnoffs are taking that away from us."
He told me Marc Sarnoff's wife -the actual candidate-had done good things too like helping the homeless. He had no answer when I asked him why she only started helping them after she had decided to run.
I pointed out that my choice, Grace Solares, had been helping our community for over twenty years -and- she fought to save Scotty's.
I told him that even though he was working for the least qualified candidate, I appreciated his getting involved in politics. Lord knows most of his brethren don't even bother to vote.
As the UM student was leaving he asked once more if I wanted any of the free stuff he was offering. He had no pencils so I opted for the wine stopper.
Okay, truth be told, I accepted one of his smiling Teresa postcards which my friend, Carlos, quickly turned into a wine accessory. We may need a lot of inebriating beverages before this election is over.