DESPERATELY SEEKING SALMA

It was Free for Teachers Day at the local aquarium so I drove over to see the captive fish.

As I was leaving, I saw the most amazing things.

As you enter smiling employees invite you to pose with parrots. Your picture is taken and you are given a card that allows you to later download it for

a fee.

Half of the people began their visit smiling at a camera with a parrot on their arm.

I watched another employee walked up and remind the photographer that it was time to switch the parrots. As he walked off with the tired birds the photographer said to the next family waiting, "It's okay, just stand there with your arm out and we can photoshop the parrots in later. We do it all the time".

The family then posed for their picture with outstretched arms holding imaginary birds. It didn't seem strange to them but is sure did to me.

Things got stranger still

when I turned around and saw Salma Hayek standing in line with her daughter. The 45-year-old actress is attractive but no more so than the trophy wives I see at PTA meetings.

Star struck I tried not to stare. I learned she is town for the premiere of her new flick, "Puss'n Boots".

She is not actually in the movie but her voice is (is she Puss or Boots?).

I can't imagine going to a movie to hear anybody's voice, Even Salma's.

It took forever for her bodyguard to get the necessary tickets.

During this time I snuck the paparazzi photos required of all bloggers.

When she and her entourage finally entered they walked right past the parrot pictures even though by then they had real birds.

I thought of asking her to pause so her guard could to take a picture us.

Then, I had a better idea, "Why bother? I can photoshop her in later".