FORGET THE MURDER RATE, VISIT CHICAGO!

       Need a relaxing getaway?  Chicago may be your kind of place. The pizza is superb and most murders take place on the bad side of town.
      
  My college friends, Mike and Christy, took me in for a couple of days.  (Francesca had flown back to Miami to get more mangos. She'll re-join the tour soon). 
The Jones's live on the good side, a couple of miles north  in Evanston.  


    No AC's are needed with cool air blowing in from Lake Michigan. 




 I loved riding in Evanston's
designated bike lanes. 
 Maybe Miami will have them in twenty years.

    We did all the un-Chicago stuff like  reminiscing, playing tennis, and attempting to win $540 million in the lottery. I'm not a gambler but Mike has spent his life promoting that sort of thing (he ran the Illinois lottery for years).
We didn't win but what the heck, I was hangin' with Mr. Lottery. I gave it a shot even though my chances of winning were the same whether I bought a ticket or not.

   When we got home Christy was pulling one of her famous pies out of the oven.  Was it delicious, my favorite, key lime. That, with a shot of original Czech herbal brew, Becherovka, hit the spot.

      Buzzing on Bech we took headed along the lake shore. Mike insisted that we visit his neighborhood's treasure, the Baha'i Temple. Using pre-cast concrete, it took 50 years to build. 
    
The Baha'i faith was started 140 years ago by an Persian fellow who's name may have inspired the Gene Vincent song, "Bebop a Lula" (His name, 'Baha' u'LLah' doesn't quite inspire visions of rock n' roll for me).  
It seems like a pretty good religion as it promotes peace, world unity, and the production of inspiring concrete domes.
____________ 

     Thus inspired, I set my sails for Western Illinois. My mom spent her early years there until
my grandparents heard how great Miami was.  

They packed up their Model T with kids, a dog, a few chickens and headed south. Once they arrived they got blown away by The Great Hurricane of 1926.  It's a wonder they didn't head north again.

            

    Everyone in Illinois stayed safe except for my cousins,  Henry and Robert Hawk.  Both brothers died in the Civil War. I visited Henry's grave with my cousin, Joe Besse.  I had visited Robert's in Chattanooga earlier. Joe's grandfather was born before that war and he still remembers his stories.  
 
   He and his son, Mark, farm 1700 acres of corn and soy beans. They have an intimate knowledge of the earth and an obvious love of tractors.

   Joe's $12,000 lawn mower is almost as big as one. When I drove it its 36 HP engine nearly gave me whiplash.  

   Wacky weed grows next to the hog shed.  No big deal here.  Locals farmed it long ago to make rope.
   
It was great to be on the farm again, a place of simplicity, loving relatives, and childhood wonderment. When I have more time I'll tell you about my cowgirl cousin, Brenda, and her family's

enduring love of Buicks (Said Cousin Joe eying the photo below, "Them old ones had big teeth!").

   That's Joe with his wife, Millie, in the middle. Millie died a couple of years ago. They were married 65 years.

Gotta go.
It's time to cross the Mississippi.
               ___________________________

DOO DAY DAY

   The Fourth of July was amazing, I got to march in my first Doo Dah Parade in Columbus, Ohio. This is the crazy event the King Mango Strut folks had helped start 33 years ago.



   Lacking a beard, I could not join the "Marching Fidels".


 The topless jousters already had people to pedal them and

the zombies were too weird (even for me).
 

 Many people just did their own thing like Wheel Man, Three-legged Guy,

  Captain Columbus,

 and Majorette Boy.

  I decided to follow my own instincts and, my green thumb. I would sell peas.
  My sister, Joan, had given me a hat and I painted it appropriately. 

In July Fourth's Doo Dah I marched a mile encouraging thousands of fans to eat more peas.


I told anyone who would listen, "They are delicious, better than candy!".   Many seemed to know that already. Several gave me handfuls adding cheerfully, "I picked them this morning!"  They were delicious.
   Others sang the Beatles song, "All we are saying..."   

   I ended up trailing a group of prancing politicos 
who called themselves "The Dance Party". They blared soul music and got everyone, including me, dancing in the streets.
    Everyone had a blast. The Doo Dah was a lot like the Grove's King Mango Strut parade but the participants were much younger and much more organized.  This was their 33d year and it seems their celebration of independence will continue for a long time. 


                                __________

THIS WOMAN NEEDS TO MOVE TO COLUMBUS!

  I read in the Chicago Tribune that a local woman, Rachel Hoover, is miffed because her drivers license was cancelled.  Seems she insisted that her photo be taken while wearing a spaghetti strainer on her head.  She said it for religious reasons but state officials didn't buy it.  

Rachel needs to move to Columbus, Ohio. People there will take her seriously.
                                _________

FOLLOWING THE WRIGHT BROTHERS TRAIL

    
              Aviation began in a bicycle shop. I discovered this while hiking the Wright Brothers Trail in Dayton, Ohio, last week.  
   Experiments in their bike shop led to the world's first airplane flight on December 18, 1903. That took place in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.

    Further development in Dayton allowed Lindbergh to cross the Atlantic and for bombs to rain down on Tokyo. More on that later.

    I imagined Orville and Wilber's testing their fragile crafts as I stood on Huffman Prairie, the now famous, former cow field.  Inside the nearby museum I flew one of the brothers' creations myself. Fortunately, crashing a simulator only hurts your pride.  The Wright Brothers, I learned, had a lot of accidents themselves before they got it right.

      Their work let to those long metal tubes that zip us all over today.  Unfortunately, many of these airplanes are used to wage war.  After leaving The Trail I saw a collection of our country's military aircraft. It is just two miles from where the brothers started it all.
    The U.S. Air Force Museum has five huge hangers large enough to contain, well, an air force. One must hike a couple of miles to see them all. Here are a few of the aircraft on display,

     This B-29 dropped a "Fat Boy" atom bomb on Nagasaki.

 


   
 

The B-2 bomber is a study in awesomeness.  You expect the cockpit to open to reveal Darth Vader.

   While it is extremely cool to create these things  (bad guy must be dealt with) there is little use for B-2's in the wars we fight today.


The Link Trainer is more my speed. I would suffer the enemy by tossing water balloons.

This is the space scooter developed for NASA. It was never produced because scientist thought it would be too much fun (and, people like me might try to become astronauts for the thrill of riding one).

 Before there were space scooters the air force had trouble recruiting pilots because the uniforms were ugly.

That all changed when they began issuing leather bomber jackets.  Everybody wanted one.  They looked great and you could have your name painted on the back.

        
     The Air Force is always acquiring new aircraft and getting rid of the old stuff.  I went on a Saturday and they were having their annual "hanger" sale.   
     I considered buying a F-80 Shooting Star or P-58 Hustler then I saw my perfect ride.
   I am now the proud owner of a B-2 Bomber.

   It's four engines put out 120,000 h.p. and it'll do 1,490 m.p.h. straight out.  At that speed it would get me from Coconut Grove to downtown Miami in less than a second.
But where would I park?
                       _______________

TOPLESS IN COLUMBUS

      Why would anyone go to Ohio, "The "Buckeye State"?  No one even knows what a 'buckeye' is. I Googled it and it took five minutes to spit out a site which explained, "The visual instrument of a  male deer". This, together with the state motto, "Land of very Large Football Players", keep most folks away.
  
    But Lauren's there. I called my lovely niece, to see why she had landed in Ohio. Lauren explained that as a medical student you're  told where to go for residency training. She and her husband were assigned to a hospital in Columbus, Ohio.  When they heard we were traveling and invited us to visit.

    Seeing them was reason enough to go but then I remembered, The Doo Dah Parade. 
When we created the Grove's King Mango Strut parade 35 years ago it became a surprising success and received national publicity.  We got a call from a Columbus fan, Bill Keener.  He and his friends wanted to start a similar parade in Ohio.  We invited him and his wife to join us for Strut #2 (1983).  Bill Dobson and I told the Keeners how we created our crazy parade and the next year, on the Fourth of July, the Columbus Doo Dah Parade was launched.


    It has been an outstanding  tradition ever since.  Four of our mango strutters flew to Ohio to check it out years ago. They came back with glowing reviews.  Peer "Cosmic Claus" Everett had a huge smile when he reported, "It was insane!".

    Francesca and I made plans to be in Columbus on the Fourth so we were able to see our first (their 33d)  Doo Dah Parade. It was insane.    As you can see in the photo above, I had a viva la revolucion time marching with my new friends, the Fidels of Columbus'  (That's me with the beard).


 
  It's a lot like our King Mango parade but much more twisted. Hey, these people are buckeyes.  They suffer freezing winters and the ominous presence of very large football players (it is the home of Ohio State Buckeye football team). They obviously need to go further than fireworks for diversion on the Fourth.  So how do they do it?
  

          ScareAtorium employees posing for group picture

   They do it with many, many zombies sporting open wounds with dripping blood.  They pull it off with large topless women jousting on bicycles and... I really need a separate blog to do da Doo Dah justice. I'll do dat soon.

      Besides parades I love aviation history. I was hoping to run into my hero, John Glenn, who lives here. They named Columbus' airport after him last week. 
                              Doo Dah Queen with a local pea farmer
 
      The Doo Dah Queen told me she had invited the former astronaut be her parade's Grand Marshall. Unfortunately, he graciously declined. United States Senators and topless female jousters do not mix, at least not in public.                                     



    
Although I was unable to meet Mr. Glenn (who turns 95 next week) my niece did.  She was introduced to him and his wife, Annie, last year. Lauren told us the Glenns are doing fine, "They were both very gracious and as sharp as tack."     
     I learned that another one of my aviator heroes, Eddie Rickenbacker, also hailed from Columbus.  He was our "ace of aces" in World War I shooting down 26 enemy planes.  In 1935 he moved to Miami to become the general manager of Eastern Airlines. He rose through the ranks to serve as its president for many years. My dad flew for Eastern  and loved working for "Captain Eddie".  
    When Rickenbacker joined Eastern he  made Coconut Grove his winter home. His former estate in the South Grove still exists evoking memories of Miami's and Columbus' aviation history.  
     Captain Eddie died sadly, in 1973, too soon to Doo Dah. Lucky me, I got to doo dah at the Doo Dah in the streets of Columbus last Monday.
    On Tuesday Francesca flew home.  I'd bet she's doing the 'Dah' in our Coconut Grove living room as I write. 
    I'll be soldiering on for more mid-west adventures. The spirits of the Wright Brothers are calling me from Dayton, Ohio, where aviation really started in a simple bicycle shop. 
    Stay tuned.
                                                                _____________
       





  

NORTH TO ALASKA!

     There are two ways to deal with Miami's summer heat, you can stand in front of an air conditioner or move to Alaska.  Our trek to Juneau began last month. The first night we camped in St. Augustine.
   We traced turtle tracks on the beach and

 
 relaxed in Old Town until, sadly, the sun rose to create more heat.
   We jumped into our AIR CONDITIONED van and headed north to Terry family reunion.  We stopped in Charleston long enough to admire


the sweetgrass basketry 
and to earn a little spendin' money

break dancing. 

  When that didn't go well (trying to "break" broke my body) Francesca opened a pop-up t-shirt shop.  With the kids' help it was very successful.
  Ian's smile brought people in and my wife sold them shirts, the  ones Natalia and Dylan were modeling out front. 
(Shirts available on FB, "The Mango Republic" page)
 By the end of the day we had gas money and moved on to the Isle of Palms.

    There, forty Terry's were waiting for us to join them for a "group shot". The photographer instructed, "On the count of three show me 'the real you' ".

The real us

    We were real hot so after a week of mostly standing in front of air conditioners we got back on the Alaskan trail.

     Stopping to rest along North Carolina's Andy Griffith Parkway,  I stretched out on the ground. Francesca, fearing chiggers, took to a bench. 

    A half-hour later my wife was at the wheel and I was scratching fresh, pink bites. 

We visited my sister, Linda, and her husband, Len, in Galax, Virginia. They're both doctors but neither took my chigger complaints seriously.

   I sought out sister Joan, south of Chapel Hill. 

Her husband, a burn specialist at NY Presbyterian, told me he could fix me up if I set my chigger bites on fire.  He's so funny, that Roger.

   Three hours north our friends, Phyllis and Fred, greeted us on their farm outside of Lexington. Fred, a retired ER doctor, told me reading a good book would take my mind off chiggers.

Francesca and Phyllis heading for Jump Mountain while Fred was showing me some good books.

      Heading west across the Alleghenies we pulled into Warm Springs. Two 200-year-old buildings allow men and women to "take the waters" in privacy. Thomas Jefferson spent three-weeks there in 1816 to ease his rheumatism.  

     An hour later we were passing through West Virginia where flash floods killed 24 people last week. They are still scraping mud from the roads. On White Sulpher Springs' Greenbriar Golf Course officers were using dogs to search for those still missing.

   On a happier note, we collided with cool weather in Columbus, Ohio. The mid-west locals attribute it to global cooling. We are staying with my niece, Lauren, and her husband Vince. 

Both are accomplished physicians with many years of training yet that they have little to say about chigger bite remedies.

Most of their attention is directed towards their daughter, Sophie.  We helped celebrate her five week birthday.

   It is now Independence Day and I hope you are enjoying yours. In a few hours, I'll be marching in this city's version of the King Mango Strut. It's called "The Columbus Doo Dah Parade". As you might expect, I will be representing the Ohio Pea Growers Association.

More on that later...

                      _____________________

July 5th

I came, I saw, I doo dah'd.  I'll write more about how Columbus celebrates the 4th when time permits.  After watching large, naked women joust in the street on bicycles, you need time to gather your thoughts.

 


I will say I saw 
super heroes,







a very excited young man wearing a tu-tu and 

 
too many monsters to mention.









Sophie, Doo-Dah'ing for the first time, loved it.

                                                         ____________________________