TOO MANY COPS

   Last summer we had too much crime in my South Grove neighborhood.  Now we have too many cops.   It started a couple of months ago when we noticed police cars driving slowly past our house at night with lights flashing.  We thought, "Are these some odd-hour funeral processions?"

   A week later my son, Dylan, came over for dinner.  As he parked in the driveway a cop pulled in behind him with his lights flashing.  The officer jumped out of his car and asked him, "Why are you here?".  I was just coming out of the house and I told him he was my son.  The cop told me, being unfamiliar with Dylan's car, he wanted to make sure I was "okay".

  A week later I went for a night time walk.  A cop drove up next to me, our eyes met for a few seconds, then he drove on.  A few days later Francesca told me the same thing happened to her.  When she asked the policeman, "Can I help you?", he replied, "Can I help you?".  Aren't those lines from  "Being There?".

    Twice officers have stopped as we arrived home at night.  They said they wanted to make sure we got inside our house safely.

   A cop often parks in the empty lot at the end of our street now.  This makes more sense since we got a letter from The Coconut Grove Neighborhood Association.  It invites us to join their group. Members pay $1100 dollars a year to have an off-duty police officer patrol our streets in marked cruisers.  
   Of course, our taxes already pay for on-duty cops to do just that.  But there's more;  the letter goes onto say,

Members can contact our special officers via cell phone to "be there" when you arrive home.  If you wish they will follow you when you are walking around the streets of the neighborhood.  If you don't want to be followed you can ask them to drive with their police lights flashing to clear your walking route five minutes before you embark.  

   Maybe if you tip them they'll throw in a siren as well.

Francesca and I are quietly amazed by this.  We never argue with people wearing guns.  

  Three bucks a day may be a good deal for this type of service.  Trouble is, we still enjoy walking through the the night without the flashing lights.